A day of Unschooling

Yesterday was not a good day for me.  I had to go to town and turn in thrown together "work samples" for our home school correspondence program.  It's the first time I've done this here in Alaska and the whole process wasn't that encouraging for me.  They were nice enough, but I can feel the pressure building on "performing".  

I'm really happy with where my kids are at scholastically and personally, so the outside pressure is not welcome.  After yesterday, we're thinking of getting out of the program altogether.  We homeschool to remove ourselves from the outside expectations and I feel like we've welcomed those things back into our life on a smaller scale.

Anyway, I was uncharacteristically emotional (read: hormonal, which is a rare occurrence for me) and so I came back home and crawled back into bed.  Dave asked no questions and offered no criticism.  He just let me talk for a while and then shut the door and left me alone.  I stayed there for the next 5 hours, mostly reading books to shut out the stress I was feeling.

He and the kids played in the living room the whole time. When I came out, they had set up a mini-mall with products to buy and sell.  It was so cute.  

They made their store fronts with chairs and tables, using bristle blocks as their money and decided what types of things they would specialize in.  Dave had helped them come up with a trading system until they'd earned enough "money" to buy things from the other vendors.  

He used his skill of making signs in trade for products for their stores.  

 

Elsa told me she is glad I married Daddy because he's such a wonderful Daddy.  I agree.  I'm a blessed woman.  

For dinner we decided to go get some Thai food from a little place down the road.  The Spicy Thai ran itself out of a travel trailer all summer and had so much success they decided to build a makeshift permanent shelter around the trailer to keep it up through the winter (I love Alaska, I don't think they would have passed "codes" in the lower 48).  This led to a discussion with the kids on the Spicy Thai's business model, pricing and profit margins, customer service, how they could improve the flow of traffic, etc...

That's how unschooling works.  You nurture interests, letting the kids lead and they take it all in.  Learning through Living.  They will remember this day and it's lessons far more than anything they learned from a workbook.      

I will remember this day for those reasons also, but mostly for the nurturing and love I received from each member of my little family.  Acceptance from them with no reproof is immeasurable and I know that I'm blessed.  I hope I can return the favor to them when they're having a off day and they feel as loved as I do. ♥   

Laying Low and losing the "Busyness"

Our winter here in Fairbanks went from being very cold to a warm front.  We've had temps of over 34 degrees over the last couple of days, and even some rain, which makes road conditions extremely treacherous. Since it's supposed to freeze again sometime tonight, schools and many workplaces are closed tomorrow unless things improve.  

I saw a meme on Facebook today that said "ALASKA - Where school can be cancelled because of warm weather"  So true.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, this is a weird place to live. :)

The kids and I have been staying home a lot lately, only leaving the house about once a week.  The kids have been playing in the snow and keeping themselves busy inside by doing school, watching movies and playing with old fashioned toys like blocks.  These have been a huge hit lately.  Nothing like Fun with Blocks.

 

 

My family has really enjoyed this time of laying low and it's something I think we're going to continue.  The reality is, the most important thing you can do as a family is to spend quality, calm time together.  Really listening to one another and paying close attention to the moods, attitudes and intricate personalities of our children and spouse is an integral part of keeping our families wholly together.  

With all of the drug and promiscuity issues today's children have, not to mention the high level of depression and suicide, really KNOWING and having a great relationship with your child is a safeguard to preventing problems.  The same standard can be applied to our spouse.  When your family life is calm, then alone time isn't nearly as important since we can chat and just "be" together, continuing the lifelong process of getting to know one another.  Bonding as a family is a great way to fall deeper in love with your husband. ♥

 How does the busyness really benefit your family?  Gadgets are a huge part of busyness.  Do you try to unplug once in a while...from all of it?  Phones, tablets, computers, gaming toys, even television?  

Source: google.com via Miranda on Pinterest

Just some food for thought.  

I'm still trying to figure out how to balance the electronics in my life.  My kids spend too much time "plugged in" and I've spent too much time online.  I need to figure out a good time each week to blog and get the online stuff done.  I'm even throwing around getting off of Facebook.  I've really enjoyed having whole days where I just don't go online at all.  It's freeing, really.  Doesn't being online sometimes just cause us extra stress and pressure...for no good reason?  Why do we do this to ourselves?  

Even more than the stress is that we often aren't "present" in our own lives.  I want to be a wife and mother that intentionally lives during her years on this earth.

This post describes what a life of Chronic Busyness looks likes

Another interesting viewpoint is the possible Pride of Busyness

Jennifer at The Magic Brush pointed me towards a book she's reading for her family. The book is called Radical Sabbatical. 

Are you changing anything about your daily schedule as we start this year off?  Or maybe throwing away the schedule?  I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

 

From the Archives: Dating Your husband

I'm linking this post up on To Love Honor and Vacuum's "Wifey Wednesday".  It's an oldey (from 3 years ago), but a goodie ♥

I still mean every word of what I wrote then.  That time of bonding really helped prepare our marriage for the trials to come. 

********************************

So, I've had a little epiphany recently. All this time off (ie: lack of a job) for Dave has done wonders for our marriage. We've both lost weight, gotten healthier and are feeling pretty good; we've committed to making a huge life change (moving) and we've learned to work well together as a team. I want to say the romance is back, but that sounds a bit cliche. 

Since we've been married, life has never been what I would call romantic, but I would say that it is now. And that's not because I get flowers or cards, or constant devotion. Though Dave has learned to appreciate the things I do at home, I would say that *I* am much changed by his presence here. I would also say that my attitude is the primary reason he is so receptive to me. I am complimenting him, I nag less, I smile more. 

Dare I say it ladies?  Sometimes we wives forget to try and be cool. Remember when you and your husband started dating? You were easy to get along with (well, probably. If you weren't, he probably should have ran the other way), you were willing to let him spend time with his friends, you were interested in what he was interested in. You were probably somewhat adventurous, willing to try new things, etc.... Are those qualities still there for you? Are you still working to be "cool"? To be a wife that he looks forward to coming home to, or waking up next to? Do you think he still desires to get to spend the day with you? I worked hard to "pass the cool girl test" with Dave when we were dating, but do I still do that? Read on....

Here's a small example, but one I don't think I'll forget. We play fantasy football in a family league; this is my 3rd year, and I am loving football more and more each week. We have now designated all Sundays after church and also Monday nights just to football. I rarely answer the phone, and keep chores and computer time to a minimum (the kids love these days). Well, we were at my Dad's house cutting up and loading firewood to help heat our house for the winter. We were discussing which day we (my sister's family and my family) could get together for another time of work. It was suggested that we could do it Sunday evening. I said (in all sincerity) "nope, that's football day". The look my husband gave me was more than enough reward, but then he smiled and put his arm around me and said "I'm so glad I married you". I do believe I passed the cool wife test, and it was a great feeling.

It's pretty fun to be more in love with your husband over 10 years later than you were when you first got married, or even when you were dating. 11 years ago I thought I knew what love was, but I didn't. Real love is a commitment, a choice. Real love that's been tested by trials (even children) and time is one that is sweeter than any first love can be. So when I talk of dating your husband, I don't even mean going on dates. We rarely get time alone. I actually don't think you need much time alone to bond with your spouse. You need real relationship, real conversation and real depth. And a lot of focus on trying to "win" them as you did when you were focused on getting that ring.

I have to say that I am enjoying every minute of "dating" my husband. I will continue to work to pass the cool girl test because in the end, we are both more content for having given each other the things that we need. I work hard for him, he works hard for me. This is a good thing for sure. 
 

13 years ago today...

13 years ago I was married to a young man who was made just for me.  

July 31.  The date we rarely get to spend together and even more rarely get to celebrate alone, but it is still our special day.

On this date I usually reminisce about the changes made in our lives in that time period, but this year, all I can think about is special dating memories and our wedding day.   

I scanned some photos onto my computer, so the quality isn't the best, but it's all I've got.  Here are just a few snapshots of my life 13 and 14 years ago.

 

 

 

 

Walking in with my Dad

 

 

 

 

 We aren't young any more, nor are we old.  We are still in the midst of dramatic life changes and adjustments, but there is no other person I would rather be taking on the world with.  I love this man and feel incredibly grateful for the life I have.

Happy Anniversary Sweetheart.  
I hope you enjoy the pizza, cheesecake and Ballatori while we watch the Olympics.  Ah, the romance!  
(Actually, we're planning to have a night out when his parents visit at the end of September, so we're just suspending the romance)

Dating your husband

I'm linking this post up on To Love Honor and Vacuum's "Wifey Wednesday".  It's an oldey, but a goodie ♥

********************************

So, I've had a little epiphany recently. All this time off (ie: lack of a job) for Dave has done wonders for our marriage. We've both lost weight, gotten healthier and are feeling pretty good; we've committed to making a huge life change (moving) and we've learned to work well together as a team. I want to say the romance is back, but that sounds a bit cliche. 

Since we've been married, life has never been what I would call romantic, but I would say that it is now. And that's not because I get flowers or cards, or constant devotion. Though Dave has learned to appreciate the things I do at home, I would say that *I* am much changed by his presence here. I would also say that my attitude is the primary reason he is so receptive to me. I am complimenting him, I nag less, I smile more. 

Dare I say it ladies, sometimes we wives forget to try and be cool. Remember when you and your husband started dating? You were easy to get along with (well, probably. If you weren't, he probably should have ran the other way), you were willing to let him spend time with his friends, you were interested in what he was interested in. You were probably somewhat adventurous, willing to try new things, etc.... Are those qualities still there for you? Are you still working to be "cool"? To be a wife that he looks forward to coming home to, or waking up next to? Do you think he still desires to get to spend the day with you? I worked hard to "pass the cool girl test" with Dave when we were dating, but do I still do that? Read on.... 

Small example, but one I don't think I'll forget. We play fantasy football in a family league. This is my 3rd year, and I am loving football more and more each week. We have now designated all Sundays after church and also Monday nights just to football. I rarely answer the phone, and keep chores and computer time to a minimum (the kids love these days). Well, we were at my Dad's house cutting up and loading firewood to help heat our house for the winter. We were discussing which day we (my sister's family and my family) could get together for another time of work. It was suggested that we could do it Sunday evening. I said (in all sincerity) "nope, that's football day". The look my husband gave me was more than enough reward, but then he smiled and put his arm around me and said "I'm so glad I married you". I do believe I passed the cool wife test, and it was a great feeling. 

It's pretty fun to be more in love with your husband over 10 years later than you were when you first got married, or even when you were dating. 11 years ago I thought I knew what love was, but I didn't. Real love is a commitment, a choice. And real love that's been tested by trials (even children) and time is one that is sweeter than any first love can be. So when I talk of dating your husband, I don't even mean going on dates. We rarely get time alone. I actually don't think you need much time alone to bond with your spouse. You need real relationship, real conversation and real depth. And a lot of focus on trying to "win" them as you did when you were focused on getting that ring. 

I have to say that I am enjoying every minute of "dating" my husband. I will continue to work to pass the cool girl test because in the end, we are both more content for having given each other the things that we need. I work hard for him, he works hard for me. This is a good thing for sure.

Changes

Changes are coming for our family. My husband hasn't had a job since the end of April. We've been surviving through various things and God's provision. It's been a long couple of months. It's been good for us as a family, and really good for our marriage. We've drawn strength from each other, and I feel incredibly blessed to have my husband in my life. The kids don't really know what's going on at all. They know we've had to cut back, and that Daddy is home all of the time. They also know that he's looking for a job. They just don't realize what that means. He's a non-current Pilot with the AF, so he's been looking to get back into that.

Our most promising job looks to be in Alaska. Through much heart searching and logistics discussion, that is where we're hoping to go. I am so excited. I think it will be excellent for us as a family. Being independent with no family or familiarity is daunting, but it has it's own value for sure. This would be an awesome adventure for our family. Now to pray things go well at the the interview in 2 weeks. I'm going with him so I can see the area and housing situation before the land gets covered in snow and ice.

The last 4 months have been an amazing progression really. At first, we were not willing to move. I wanted him to find a local job. Then we focused on a job he could commute to. When that didn't work, we focused on finding something within driving distance of home so we could keep our house. Well, that didn't work out. Then we decided we'd move, but only temporarily (we'd rent the house). We've now finally submitted to what I believe the Lord has wanted of us all along. Submission to whatever he provides for us. We have to be willing. That's all he asks of us. Now that we are, and are planning to sell our home here, I finally feel at peace. HE will provide for us. HE will show us the place he desires us to be. It is all in his perfect timing.

What we have here are just "things"...the lifestyle we've had is wonderful, but it's just an atmosphere. The most important thing is our family (just the 6 of us) and our God. With those in the proper order and the other things put in the back, nothing but good will come of it, even through the struggle. So, that info is why I haven't spend much time blogging. I'm hoping to be more active at it, but in reality, I'm thinking that won't be happening until we get settled in our new location (wherever that may be).

On a completely separate note, the other thing this lack of a job has done is help me get my "sass" back. I got my hair cut and wear it down more (instead of a ponytail). I've lost almost 30 lbs with the encouragement of my husband, some exercise and an awesome eating plan (no more being hungry) http://www.theskinnyswitch.com But the funnest part is that I did something I've been wanting to do for a very, very long time. I got my nose pierced 2 weeks ago! I love it and so does Dave. WooHoo! Self Portrait (not a great one, but you can get the idea)