Firewood

 We had our wood stove installed in September.  To be able to use it this winter, we needed wood...lots of it. 

I had to separate out the orders since it is so expensive to get dry wood.  Next year we hope to get a permit and cut our own wood in the spring to save some money.

For now, we had 2 cords delivered in September and we stacked that.  These pictures are for the 4 additional cords.  3 cords are dry and the other 1 is green, so we mixed it in with the dry in a section we won't touch until spring.  

(2 cords are stacked in the background.  Isaac is standing on 3 of the cords and the last one still hadn't arrived when this was taken)

 

I grew up stacking tons of wood and doing a lot of work, but my kids' life is a lot cushier. That said, they really enjoyed working on this project and it didn't take more than 10 hours with all of us working at different times to get it all stacked and ready for winter.

This wood was cured in logs for 3 years and then split.  The nice thing about that method is that it left TONS of kindling for starting the fires.  I love this stuff.
  We gathered it all up and keep it in plastic tubs next to the firewood.

 Our setup is looking a little redneck.  Maybe we'll get our woodshed built next year, but for now, this is working well.

Up on the deck, we keep a bucket with kindling and a box with the stack of backup wood.  Between this and the inside box, it's enough for one full day.  When it's -40 outside, you don't want to spend a lot of time gathering wood. 

Inside, I have 2 lovely brass toned metal bins to hold wood and the necessary tools to keep the fire going.

This bin holds about 3/4 of the days wood.  Not only is it functional, it is really sturdy and beautiful to look at.  I love the rope handles.

Beyond the wood at the wood pile, we also did a small stack right next to the house in case the weather gets really extreme and being outside for any extended period of time is unthinkable (in cases of a storm or temperatures of -50 to -80, which does happen).

 It's snowy now and the shovels are getting well used, but we are loving the security of wood heat.  It's cozy and warm and doesn't rely on any electricity.

I can sit in my warm house and enjoy the beauty of the snow and small snippets of sunshine that we receive.

 

I can't believe Thanksgiving is nearly here!  If I don't get back here for a Thanksgiving day post...Happy Thanksgiving!

Spiritual Leadership

A little honesty for you this Sunday.  

I struggle with being able to "do it all" every day.  I have days where I feel successful and other days that I feel I'm a complete failure.

This article by Kate Tietje really resonated with me.  One of the areas I feel inordinately inadequate is as a spiritual leader in my home.  My husband is so good about talking with the kids before bed at night and I know that's where a lot of their spiritual education is coming from, but I'm the one that's home with them all day and I should be providing more guidance.  

We've been really inconsistent this summer about getting to church on Sundays.  Even the kids noticed.  A few weeks ago my 5 year old, Ephraim, said "Mommy, I want to go to church more so I can learn more about God!".  Humbling.  There is no dragging these kids to church...they want to go.  It's their parents who have been lazy and inattentive.

Dave took the kids to church on his own last week while I stayed home with 2 sick little ones.  This weekend, he is working, so I took all of them myself.  

Our church offers communion every week and when the time comes, you take whatever time you need and consume the cracker piece and small cup of juice at your own pace.  
I leaned over to Ephraim on my left and said "Be careful not to spill" and he replies "I know.  I know what this is for.  This is for his body and this one is for his blood".  I'm humbled.  
Then I looked to my right, and see my 3 older kids holding their sacrament items, heads bowed or eyes closed in diligent prayer.   Prayers initiated on their own.  I am again mightily humbled.  

Source

You see, no matter my inadequacies, God can take all that I have and make it into something valuable and eternal. 

It brings to mind this verse:  
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us" Ephesians 3:20 NIV

Moments of Clarity

Every once in a while, there are moments that give your life clarity.  

I'm no different than anyone else when it comes to doubts about my decisions regarding parenting and lifestyle choices.  We live unconventionally here in our home, and while I love it, sometimes glimpses of others' more mainstream methods make me question myself.

Isaac turned 8 on Saturday.  We had a great time at our local Children's Museum playing with friends and then we came home and had pizza for dinner.

Late that night I heard a sobbing sound as Isaac made his way into my room to tell me that he's sad his birthday is over.  He was heartbroken...uncharacteristically so.

Lydia (2 1/2) was in bed with me and she sat up with concern.  "It's okay, Isaac".  But that wasn't good enough for her.  She got out of bed and went around to the other side where he was.  She hugged his leg "Oh, Isaac crying?" "It's okay, Isaac, it's okay" while patting him.  Over and over.  Her love and concern for him was apparent as she took on the nurturing role of an older sibling. 

My heart swelled with joy.

It was just one of those MOMENTS OF CLARITY.  

We're doing something right.  Lydia knows how to comfort because she sees it modeled.  Her siblings' emotions take precedence over hers because that's what she experiences herself.  

I'm sure we'll get plenty of things wrong as we're raising our kids, but if they come out of this process practicing compassion, love and selflessness, we've succeeded.  

Life is about RELATIONSHIPS.  Relationship with God, family and those around you...that is truly living.  That is how you change the world around you; by touching other people hearts and lives, which in turn nurtures your own soul.

Moments when I see their sweet faces look like this. 

They are why I'm here in this moment and time.  Joy is mine.

36

I'm 36 years old today.  How did that happen?  

I'm closer to 40 than 30.  I thought I'd feel older when that happened.  But I don't.  I feel good...great in fact.  Sure, my knees hurt a little more than they used to (they sound pretty bad too!) and the floor grappling that we do in class makes me feel like an old lady.  Those are minor things though.

Thanks to Krav Maga and eating a GMO-free and mostly grain free diet, I'm at the lowest weight I've been in 13 years, and I'm in better shape than I've ever been in.  I am healthy.

After 14 years of marriage, my husband and I are closer than we've ever been.  Our relationship has grown into something amazing.  I thought I loved him when we got married, but that was nothing compared to how I feel about him now.  

The years and the experiences God has given me have molded me into the woman that I am and I am thankful.  I care less about what people think about me and more about what my kids and husband think about me.  I'm less concerned with what I SHOULD be doing and am focused on what I feel led to do in the moment.

I no longer feel the need to live up to others standards of how I should parent or homeschool.  I am more confident in my abilities and intuition as to how we are raising these kids.  They were given to us for a reason and I think between us and the Lord, they are turning out pretty darn good.

I feel strong and useful and filled with love.  This season of my life is very good and I'm soaking up each moment as best as I know how.   I am content, and it is wonderful.

Dancing

Can you believe it's time to spring forward already?!  I don't know if we'll be making it to church in the morning, though we have the best of intentions.  We ate dinner late and everyone is just getting to bed now.

It feels like spring here in Alaska.  Though our snow won't likely be gone for at least a month, the temperatures are causing lots of dripping from the roof and the option of open windows during the day.  It's amazing how 35+ degrees is so lovely and warm.

We are rather busy for some reason.  I've done some trading of babysitting time with friends so I could start attending self defense classes (so fun!) and get some shooting time at the range with my husband.  With adding the workout classes one to two days a week for me, I've added short workouts on the other 3-4 days, so I'm getting a little healthier and stronger.  It feels good.

I'm also doing a little research into which way we want to homeschool next year...we're checking out Classical Conversations and Unschooling.  Yes those 2 are polar opposites as far as techniques, but we're praying about both.  

I'll leave you with some sweet (maybe a little blurry, but sweet nonetheless) photos of my two youngest babies dancing together.  This is a nearly daily occurrence for Lydia with either Isaac or Ephraim.

 

I love how she looks at Ephraim.  There's some hero worship going on.  His ability to treat her with love and respect is an integral part of learning to be a real Man, and so we nurture this relationship with care.   Of course this can challenging, but it's one we know has lifelong benefits.

Taking Time for Tea

Our life here in Alaska is a quiet one, by choice, but I'm always working on ways that we can improve our family life.  We can often get sucked into watching a ton of television or being plugged in to electronics and that in turn makes us less PRESENT in the life we are living.

I wrote a post in January "Losing the Busyness" and since then have been implementing even more simplicity into our life.  The book I linked at the end of the post is must read, in my humble opinion.  I've spent some enjoyable time ruminating on the experiences conveyed in  "Just Too Busy: Taking your family on a Radical Sabbatical" by Joanne Craft.

This book is an excellent one, with many ideas to simplify and get off of the "runaway train" that can be our American lifestyle. While my family's routine (or lack thereof) is pretty radical compared to the average American, there is still much that can be improved upon. 

Stopping the busyness gives us time to really LISTEN to the kids.  Their interests and passions and ideas are so fascinating and so very important.  When each day is busy there is no time to give their thoughts room to breathe and come to the surface.  When we run with this rat-race, we lose out and so do our kids.

Soon this young man's feet will be bigger than his Daddy's and his desire to be as close as possible to us will be gone.  We are treasuring these moments

One of the things we've started doing recently is taking tea with the kids in the evenings before bed.  Each child seems to be loving the new tradition and the 3 oldest kiddos can pretty much handle the whole tea making process themselves, from filling the teapot to adding milk and sweetener to each cup.

   

They line them up while the tea steeps.  I wouldn't call what we do "high tea" or "low tea".  We do not serve it with dignity, like this beautiful post describes, but it is served with love.

Elsa and I like English Breakfast or Irish Breakfast tea (my new favorite) with a little stevia and milk.  Dave and the 2 older boys prefer Peppermint tea with a little stevia for the boys.

Ephraim and Lydia have water or milk, but they still enjoy the time

 

I wish I could say that I drink it all proper-like, reminiscent of Downton Abbey, but I don't.  I use my monster coffee cup because that's just the way I roll.  

It's been so fun watching them prepare the tea and serve us.  We don't always sit together and drink, but it's still a time of calm and peace in preparation for bedtime.

Elsa and I will often sit and read magazines together while we sip.  

A recent blog post by January at Birth Without Fear really hit home with me and reinforced the need to be present HERE AND NOW.  Each day is a gift and you cannot go back and regain that time with your children and spouse.

My desire for this year is to be intentional with my children and focus on being present...just existing and surviving is not enough.  

Vaccines

I don't typically post about controversial things since I dislike drama, but I feel that this video lays out well how I feel about vaccines.

We do not vaccinate our children for a multitude of reasons, but this is probably the biggest one.  The children being born today are 2, even 3 generations into a vaccination schedule that has not been kind to their immune systems.

In our quest to avoid illness and viruses, we have created a scary monster that no one understands.  Parents like me aren't conspiracy theorists, we are scared of the world we're seeing around us. 

I beg you to keep an open mind as you watch this video.  I believe we need to demand the government get out of bed with the pharmaceutical industry and actually get into the business of our health...it's what we're forced to pay them for, so we might as well get something good out of it.  

The tests need to be done, and until they are, you will not see me injecting my children with toxins in order to avoid disease.      

Prayer

While putting my babies to bed tonight, Isaac made a beautiful comment that has stuck with me.  With awe in his voice "Daddy says that when we are just talking, it's not powerful.  But when we pray, our words are powerful"

Oh my son...if you only knew what those precious words do to my Mama's heart.  There is nothing I can add to the sweetness and truth of that.  Our words, when in prayer are powerful. Words are strong and meaningful when they're seeking God.

This handsome little man is growing up in the strength of the Lord, who is even more amazing than his beloved superheros

  

I'm grateful for my family tonight.  For children that ask deep questions, and a husband that is more than willing to answer them.

Never gets old...

I am exhausted.  Yes I am.  My baby is almost 7 week old and I still feel like I'm in the first week of postpartum recovery.  I'm sleep-deprived, irritable, puffy and not altogether back to feeling like myself.  It took 5 babies for me to get hit by the bus, but it's happened.  Ah well, considering that this is our last little one, I guess it's good I get to experience the whole gamut of parenthood.

That said, I wouldn't trade it for anything.  These times are fleeting, both the good and frustrating.  Even after 5 babies, I still cherish every moment I have with her.  I still love seeing all the firsts.  I don't wish for her to grow up faster or hurry up and do ... (insert whatever new skill you might like here).  I love having a new little person here to get to know.

Some of the things that make my heart melt are:

• The crooked, fleeting newborn smiles, either while sleeping or awake and alert
• The back arching stretches with no fear of falling
• Dark newborn eyes that are so clear and "fresh", seemingly full of wisdom and purity 
• The little baby yawns 
• The arms going straight out to the sides when startled
• Baby feet with toes that she spreads wide when just sitting on my lap
• The lip quivers when cold, hungry or distressed
• The frantic crying when she's hungry or needing comfort... followed by an instant quiet that comes as I put her anywhere near a breastfeeding position
• The soft sighing sound that happens as she swallows the nourishing and perfect food my body makes
• The baby eyes rolling back in bliss as she drinks
• The sweet hands that knead my skin as she nurses
• The crossed eyes that happen when she's trying to focus
• The little heater that is her body when she is asleep
• The little legs that go into froggy position whenever she's on my chest
• The tiny head that nuzzles itself into my neck

These are just a few of the sweet things I can think of right now, but there are many more.  I have treasured each one of these things as I've watched my babies grow.  It NEVER gets old.  I never get tired of seeing it.  I try to take a "Heart Picture" so I can remember this feeling as the years go by, but it's hard to recapture.  And so I do my best to stay in the moment, being thankful for the gifts the Heavenly Father has given me in my children, because they are precious.

Getting a system going...

I've been trying to get into a routine, so there hasn't been a lot of good blogging time.  Not only that, I haven't had enough going on to come up with a good subject to blog about.  I guess I'll do a little update for now...

Until recently (because he didn't have a job) , Dave has been the main teacher for the kids with the homeschooling.  In the last 2 weeks, I've been trying to find a good system so that I can teach them my way.  We're planning on schooling through the summer since we have had to be flexible with the move and they didn't get daily schooling the last couple of months. 

So far, things are going well.  I got some red pencils so I can start grading their work.  I need to be more disciplined than Dave was or I get sidetracked.  The house will take precidence over homework in my life if I don't stay focused.  We're still working through the kinks, but I'm optimistic I will have it mostly under control in the next week or so.

The kids are mostly settled in and adjusting.  I see their real personalities coming back now. 
~Ephraim is no longer a little tyrant (which is what I was calling him).  He is back to being fun and easy to care for.  He is changing so fast.  When we got here, he was hardly communicating.  Now he's repeating what we say and making the connections with certain actions.  He's a blast to be around again and I love it.
 ~Elsa's bossiness is no longer front and center, she is back to being helpful and loving. 
~Isaac still struggles a little with whining, but overall is just wanting to please and learn to be a big boy.
~Adin is probably the one that's had the hardest time.  He's not as distracted by the new and fun things we're getting to do.  He's focused on the loss of the friendships with his cousins.

We finally got Skype set up this last weekend.  Wow, is that fun!  It has relieved a lot of the feelings of loss the kids had.  It's like you're sitting there with the people you're talking with.  They spent about 4 hours on skype on Friday and Sunday.  It was cool.

We're meeting some old friends at a lake halfway between here and where they are in St. Louis this weekend.  I can't wait.  They were our best friends during pilot training 8 years ago.  I can't believe how long it's been since we've seen them.  During that time (2001-2003) we each only had 1 child.  Now we each have 4.  It's going to be a great time!  I'll update with pics on Tuesday :)