36

I'm 36 years old today.  How did that happen?  

I'm closer to 40 than 30.  I thought I'd feel older when that happened.  But I don't.  I feel good...great in fact.  Sure, my knees hurt a little more than they used to (they sound pretty bad too!) and the floor grappling that we do in class makes me feel like an old lady.  Those are minor things though.

Thanks to Krav Maga and eating a GMO-free and mostly grain free diet, I'm at the lowest weight I've been in 13 years, and I'm in better shape than I've ever been in.  I am healthy.

After 14 years of marriage, my husband and I are closer than we've ever been.  Our relationship has grown into something amazing.  I thought I loved him when we got married, but that was nothing compared to how I feel about him now.  

The years and the experiences God has given me have molded me into the woman that I am and I am thankful.  I care less about what people think about me and more about what my kids and husband think about me.  I'm less concerned with what I SHOULD be doing and am focused on what I feel led to do in the moment.

I no longer feel the need to live up to others standards of how I should parent or homeschool.  I am more confident in my abilities and intuition as to how we are raising these kids.  They were given to us for a reason and I think between us and the Lord, they are turning out pretty darn good.

I feel strong and useful and filled with love.  This season of my life is very good and I'm soaking up each moment as best as I know how.   I am content, and it is wonderful.

Taking Time for Tea

Our life here in Alaska is a quiet one, by choice, but I'm always working on ways that we can improve our family life.  We can often get sucked into watching a ton of television or being plugged in to electronics and that in turn makes us less PRESENT in the life we are living.

I wrote a post in January "Losing the Busyness" and since then have been implementing even more simplicity into our life.  The book I linked at the end of the post is must read, in my humble opinion.  I've spent some enjoyable time ruminating on the experiences conveyed in  "Just Too Busy: Taking your family on a Radical Sabbatical" by Joanne Craft.

This book is an excellent one, with many ideas to simplify and get off of the "runaway train" that can be our American lifestyle. While my family's routine (or lack thereof) is pretty radical compared to the average American, there is still much that can be improved upon. 

Stopping the busyness gives us time to really LISTEN to the kids.  Their interests and passions and ideas are so fascinating and so very important.  When each day is busy there is no time to give their thoughts room to breathe and come to the surface.  When we run with this rat-race, we lose out and so do our kids.

Soon this young man's feet will be bigger than his Daddy's and his desire to be as close as possible to us will be gone.  We are treasuring these moments

One of the things we've started doing recently is taking tea with the kids in the evenings before bed.  Each child seems to be loving the new tradition and the 3 oldest kiddos can pretty much handle the whole tea making process themselves, from filling the teapot to adding milk and sweetener to each cup.

   

They line them up while the tea steeps.  I wouldn't call what we do "high tea" or "low tea".  We do not serve it with dignity, like this beautiful post describes, but it is served with love.

Elsa and I like English Breakfast or Irish Breakfast tea (my new favorite) with a little stevia and milk.  Dave and the 2 older boys prefer Peppermint tea with a little stevia for the boys.

Ephraim and Lydia have water or milk, but they still enjoy the time

 

I wish I could say that I drink it all proper-like, reminiscent of Downton Abbey, but I don't.  I use my monster coffee cup because that's just the way I roll.  

It's been so fun watching them prepare the tea and serve us.  We don't always sit together and drink, but it's still a time of calm and peace in preparation for bedtime.

Elsa and I will often sit and read magazines together while we sip.  

A recent blog post by January at Birth Without Fear really hit home with me and reinforced the need to be present HERE AND NOW.  Each day is a gift and you cannot go back and regain that time with your children and spouse.

My desire for this year is to be intentional with my children and focus on being present...just existing and surviving is not enough.  

Why not?

When we first started discussing whether or not to make the long trip to Oklahoma, it wasn't the logistics of a last moment trip that was on my mind.  I was really in a battle with my fear.  

•  I was afraid of how the kids would handle the long trip
• I was afraid of dealing with Lydia at night in unknown situations (ie: being up until 2am with a screaming baby)
• I was afraid we would spend money we didn't have on the typical travel expenses
• most of all, I was afraid for our safety.  

I kept thinking of all of the what if's.  What if we were in a horrible accident and we all died, or what if just Dave and I died and the kids were on their own in a different country.  What if we accidentally run off the road and all freeze to death...seriously, can you see how much I focus on death?  

Deciding to make the trip was a big leap of faith for me.  Dave was mostly concerned about money, whereas I was concerned about the unknowns.  I had to let go of my fear for my family.  I had to trust that God would either keep us safe or that he would care for us even if something terrible happened.   I had to close my eyes and push past my fears.

None of the things I was afraid of came true, and all of them were allayed by a God who wants me to trust him and just LET GO.  

We didn't run out of money.  We shopped for some groceries beforehand and had enough food for the first 2 days (though some of it unfortunately froze, haha).  We were very careful the rest of the time.  If you take out the costs of hotels and fuel, we only spent $280 for the entire 8 days.  Yes, sometimes we didn't eat a real dinner or even lunch, but we managed to make sure no one went hungry and it became a fun challenge for all of us to come up with affordable, healthy options to eat.

The kids had a good time.  We grew closer together as a family.  The kids bonded even closer as siblings.  Lydia did great nearly every night, with no screaming.

We didn't get in a car accident or even anything close to it.  Our experience with the hole in our tire as we entered a town showed me how I have no control over anything, and that our Lord cares about even the small things.  

We did get the flu, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been and we actually managed to deal with it pleasantly and without any major issues.

When it comes to deciding whether or not to jump into an unknown situation, I believe God wants us to trust him enough to just let go.  Why not?  Something very wonderful may be waiting on the other side.  

Immersed

Immersed.  That's the best word I can use to describe my life right now.  

I'm immersed in my kids, their school, homekeeping, decorating and spending time with God.  That latter shouldn't be in last place there, because in many ways, it's actually the thing I think about most and that has most changed my daily routine.  

My life is in a state of re-evaluation as priorities clamor for their proper place.  

I am doing a great Bible Study on James with some lovely ladies from church.  Oh, how I love the book of James.  I've always liked it, but it goes right to the heart of living out your faith.  Refreshing and candid, I cannot look away.

Besides the study, I am keeping a gift journal as recommended in the "One Thousand Gifts" book.  It keeps me in a spirit of thankfulness for even the smallest blessing.

These things have immersed me in a relationship with God that I've been missing for way too many years as "life" took over my time. 

But the Lord has welcomed me back into his presence as if there's been no time lost.  I am humbled by his love for me and the peace and contentment he daily gives.

If you're not taking the time to spend with Him, I urge you to do so, even if it's just a few minutes.  To be with our creator is life-changing, how could it be anything else?

In other news, we're dealing with colds and baby teething, so sleep feels scarce, and tempers a little short.  God's grace is needed and welcome for sure.

Elsa's room update is done and so I just need to find time to post all the pics.  Stay tuned for that!

Good Enough

I recently discovered Melody Ross while I was looking around on Blogger.  This post by Melody really struck me.  While I don't struggle with wanting to be popular on Facebook, I can feel similar feelings when it comes to blogging, and even in my real life as I work at new friendships or acquaintances. 

We all want to be loved and wanted.  We all want others to affirm us and to value what we bring to the table. 

We look at that woman on the other side of the room (or blog) that people are drawn to and wonder why that's not us.  I see those dynamic people at church, on Facebook, on the blogs...in every area of interest that I have; Childbirth, Breastfeeding, Parenting, Christianity, Decorating, Crafting...take your pick.

We wish that we could be in her circle, or to have our own special circle.  It feeds our insecurities and inadequacies.  We wonder how we can get there, or why can't we be like that? 

But we are all so different!

And that's GOOD!

Source: bravegirlsclub.com via Libby on Pinterest

Last night while I was doing the homework on my current Bible Study, I was drawn to a verse in Galations that Paul wrote:

"As for those who seemed to be important - whatever they were makes no difference to me; God does not judge by external appearance-- those men add nothing to my message"  Galations 2:6

The context is one that I won't go into overly much, but in a nutshell...Paul knew God had called him for a specific purpose.  Whether or not the leaders of the early church were endorsing him didn't matter (even though they were supporting him).  His mission was his misson.  Period.

I was struck by the similarities to what he was experiencing and wrote about even back in the first century!  Humans don't change too much do they?

We are not all called to be the same.  We're not the same.  Some of us are loud and expressive.  Some are quiet and watchful.   Some are in between.  It creates a wonderful dynamic that, when embraced, helps us all to be better...to do better.  Even while trying our best, we should not attempt to live up to anyone else's standard.  I love the saying up above "Just do your best, it will be enough" 

I am me.  That is enough.

I'm ruminating on all this right now, though I'm not exactly sure how it applies to my life.  I will not discount God's impressions on my heart in any case, so I don't think this is the last you'll hear from me on this subject ♥ 

Miranda