Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Contentment

I've spent some time this week getting the moving details sorted out (kind of).  There are lot of things to consider; driving, moving companies, shipping the car, and/or flying.  There are lots of ways to go and sorting through it all is not easy.  It's a little stressful and overwhelming.

On the other hand, it's exciting to thing that we're over halfway through the time we will be here in OK.  I'm so looking forward to leaving and starting our like in Alaska.  This looking forward to what's coming makes it really hard to be content.  I'm trying to take each day as it comes, but it's really hard to be in the moment here.  I am not content here and that's making life a little stressful.  Going to the pool every weekday makes it feel a little more like a vacation and that helps a bit. 

A lot of the frustration I have is that everything we've had to buy to get by here in this apartment is not permanent.  Everything is essentially disposable since we'll be leaving it behind one way or another.  So I've had to buy cheap quality things that I don't even care about.   It's a little like Wal-Mart for me.  I don't like Wal Mart, I never have.  I'm more of a Target kind of girl.  It's still affordable, but most of it feels like better quality...not quite Pottery Barn, but way better than Wal Mart.  I'm living a Wal Mart disposable kind of life right now.  And it's hard for me.  No roots, nothing to care about or treasure as far as my house.  My home is a big deal for me.  I like being a Homemaker, not a caretaker.

The kids and Dave are happy.  That's what is important.   And in the meantime, as I work toward being content...I can't wait for Alaska ;)

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