When I was pregnant with my first child, I did very little research into circumcision. I thought people that didn't circumcise were weird and way out there. "Why wouldn't you?" I thought to myself, "I want him to look like his Daddy" and "Christians should all be circ'd, it's in the Bible". So Adin was circumcised. He went out with the Dr. calm and alert. They wouldn't let either one of us go with him for the procedure. That should have been the main reason I should have said no. But to be honest, I was feeling a lot detached from him. I don't remember that full "rush" of love until about day 2. By then, he'd been circ'd already.
Adin came back to us a glassy eyed calm baby. Knowing him as I do now, he shuts down when he's under stress. That is what I believe happened, he was completely shut down. I had asked that he be made numb before the procedure, but I have no way of knowing if they abided by my wishes. I wasn't there.
It is very tough for me to talk about because having a lot of guilt for not protecting him doesn't do me any good. I did the best I knew. I was focused on breastfeeding, and natural birth. The journey into natural based parenting comes in time and I hadn't progressed to that point yet.
When I became pregnant with baby #2, I started researching. I wanted to know why others would choose not to circ. What I found convinced me absolutely that I did not want another baby to go through that. By doing a circumcision focused Bible study, I came to the conclusion that the Lord no longer requires us to live by the law. Jesus made a way, and it is our hearts, not our bodies that require circumcision.
Dave was not convinced yet, so I gave him research and told him to read it and *he* would have to convince *me*. I also said I would only go along with a circ if we had a Rabbi do a traditional bris on the 8th day of his life. Needless to say, he never really put the effort into trying to convince me and the subject was dropped. Elsa was born a girl obviously, and so it was not an issue. Our next 2 boys have been left intact, in their perfect God given state. I would not change it for the world, and actually, I don't think Dave would either. He is a convinced, if quiet proponent of not circumcising.
If they ever ask me why, I will tell them that I did my best with Adin as I knew to, but by the time they were born....I did better because I knew better. That's all I can offer and I know it will be enough.
I am passionate about genital integrity because I believe it is wrong and unnecessary to harm our children for the sake of simple vanity or society norms. We perpetuate a myth in the Christian community to say that the Lord requires circumcision. WE ARE FREE FROM THE LAW! CHRIST HAS FREED US!
This statistic page is excellent and was exciting for me to see. I was so surprised how low the circ rates are in some states. We still have a lot of work to do, but at least it's a start.
Circumcision rates by State
Thanks so much for sharing your story. It is so wonderful to be able to just admit that you didn't know any better and when you learned differently, you did differently. Kudos to you.
ReplyDeleteI was homeschooled too, by the way :). Our family got the same kind of raised eyebrows as everyone else regarding "socialization" but as a 24 year old who is now almost finished with college and has plenty of friends, I'd say my mom got the last laugh :).
Best wishes to you and your family.